Broken-hearted girl

Am i that hate-able ? People hate me for nothing . Lols , for something which i didnt do , for something which is like none of my fucking business . I treated you like my junior my sister and yes , we share secrets . But after reading that post you post onto your facebook , i was dumbstrucked . It made you seems to be betraying me . My friends told me that your staring at them , for what shit ? Like as if they will come crawling at you and apologise to you . I would appreciate much if you can STOP msging my friends , i guess they complain to me too much about it , Lols .

If only i didnt give you the number , nothing of this will happen and i dont think you would even hate me . If you could just stop msging them and of course , NOTHING WILL HAPPEN !? Tell me this and you do that , like what the hell ?

Alrights , if you wanna hate , go on . Im veryvery disappointed . Im veryvery sure that you would blog all this shit onto your blog , but i dont care , it's you privacy , you own it , it's under your name , your blogspot , go blog all you want ... I dont give a shit to it , just treat it as though im a disgusting , ugly bitch and just go ahead and hate me . Like as if it gonna affect my studies ...I can be really bitch at times , i have never shown you my darkest side . Dont take my friendiness for granted . You want play peace , i willing to peace with you , if you wanna play rough , play YOUR game , then i think you better think twice (:

I hate you as much as you hate me , and im NOT AT ALL sorry (:

Just now i got beaten by my mother by a fucking plastic broom stick , if only i didnt scream and stop her i think i will get MORE brusies . Now is my thigh , one damn big and long blue black , kinda cute , it's exactly the pattern of the top of the broom stick . She 'cane' me just because i talk back , like what the FUCK ?! Just cause of that ?! She said that i cause her to do it , and i told her she cause me to be so rebellious now .

What's worst is that she says the among all my friends im the most bless daughter in the world , want what got what . Hey please , i can get what i want , but im not at all happy , then whats the point ? This fucking mother of mine even threaten me that she wants to bring me to the girls home , wow as if she is able to threaten me . I told her to go ahead , want bring just bring , dont stand there and talk so much . Then she ask me to go myself , DAMN FUCK can ? How to go myself ? Charge myself with ' beyond parental control ' and get my ass into girlshome ? Brainless dog ...

She says she hates me , i hate her more . So unreasonable , so old . I understand her , she is OLD already , 50 plus , she got cancer before . SO WHAT ? BIG FUCK DEAL ?! Then why can she understand that im already 17 years old , using force on me cant resolve anything ?! She says i didnt care for her feelings . IF I DONT ! I will be like those girls loitering under the block smoking and doing all those uncivilised stuff . I wont be studying for HER ! Eventhough i study for MY OWN FUTURE . BRAINLESS FREAK !

The best part is she try to snatch the broom back from my hand , but cant , so she went back to the stallroom * please lah , same old trick * and try to find somethings * fake rummaging through the room * . I actually expect her to take the heavy tin and throw it to my face and i get a concussion and die , and when she come out , nothing ._. Cool or what ? Do for me see only , same old trick , use for so many years , dumbass..

I had enough , if only i could get someone whom i know and a place for me to hide , i will . I will run farfar away from her , make her worry *which i doubt she would* , she hates me , like duh ? why would she bother even if i die ? Just throw me into the sea and feed fish . I want to leave my house as soon as possible . I need to be 18 soon , i dont want to see her face anymore . Though she is my mother , i have no sympathy for her , my heart just like , die already . Not as in the function stop , but the feelings . Like as though she's just a crazy person whom have escape from an asylum , i dont want a mother , AT ALL !

I didnt curse her to die , she curse herself one . I didnt even say a word 'die' , she assumes that I want her to die . Like if she likes the word die and might as well name me die chew qu si ? Bodoh , since she likes to die so much go die lah ! None of my fucking business . I've got a bright future , i dont want to die ... siao .

Okay , enough ranting , i know i made myself seems to be like a unfillal daughter . WHO CARES ?! Even if the world crush down on me i still dont care , i know i will get retribution for it , really , WHO CARES ?! BITCH !

Alot of things happen this few days , dont really know how to explain . I care , but at the same time dont feel like caring . I hope that the relationship thingy between the 2 clowns will end and resolve soon . I want her to be happy , not sad and crying every single day , calling me umpteen times a day and asking me what to do , you must heal fast my friend , you must learn to let it go...

The last thing that i wish NOT to happen is the childish tio daiji stuff , why nowadays people so childish ? Im blame and hate for nothing and it's not at all my fault . If only i didnt give that number everything will be fine . No more trouble , god damn it , gah ! Hate myself now ...

Dont feel like posting anything , now i feel like beating people , grrrr !~

we shall stay together till the end :D Drama seniors :D Had drama cca today , it's so funny lah today's session . Cannot help but laugh , LOL ! Played some warm up games and story inprovisation . I was forfeited and asked to dance with jeanne , haha! She started laughing and i laugh along too :D Dance what ? dance tango , LOL !

Before drama accompanied cecilia to teck whye to collect her lenses , ate macdonalds after that . Talk craps lah ! Reach BP and i saw my mum riding a bike to sheng siong , cute siah haha ! It rain halfway and we walk in the rain for the sake of fun , was drench from head to toe loh ! Went into dance studio and i was shivering like mad , haha..

School was sucha bored thing , lesson as per normal . Except that SS teacher never come today and we wreak havoc in class , run around and slap each other like siao , haha , but cool to have this kind of classmates . Anyways , i want to tell my best friend somethings , pardon me for the long post...

Dear xx xxxxxxx ,

I hope you see this , i know your going through a hard time but please bear in mind that you have friends to talk to , friends to keep you accompany , friends to give you a happiness that you want . Even though i cannot give you the things that 'he' could give , but im sure that there's someways to make you happy . I've given you advice and im trying my best to help you . But if you think im being such a kaypo then no choice , you decide your future on your own . Im a friend who can help you through this period of time , most of us have gone through this before and we know whats like to be lonely again . You just have to move on , dont step your dignity under you shoe ever again , it's time for a turn . You cannot be a weakling in front of him , thats no use , the more your unhappy , the more he feels happy . So be happy , make him be the one who cry and grieve over you , you have to tolerate . I rather you suffer now , than suffer again later . O levels is nearing , i want you to study hard , i dont want you to think of him . He's a jerk , remember what i told you ? From our perspective we think that you shouldnt be the one who give in first . I have so much to tell you but i dont know where to start . You suffer , we suffer too . You understand ? Think of the people around you , we have problems too . It's no use of us to tell you what to do . If you dont want to heed our advice then we will be wasting our saliva ? Please girl , cheer up , the world isnt crushing on you . You have us , we will direct the right path to you , and we will help you . Dont be like this , your sad , im sad too...

with love ,

your bestfriend babe !

My best friend and i :D

See this cheeky girl :D:D:D

Yesterday went to jessie's birthday party , haha fun . Alot of laughters going on and we even played concentration :D FYI jessie's lift is like a suana ( or was it sauna ) , LOL alright whatever . When home at around 8.30 plus , chiong homework ! ^^ Mum and dad went to johor yesterday morning leaving me alone at home ._. After that went down to meet a friend and passed him his song and went to buy lunch , ate KFC loh . Unhealthy me , morning cup noodle afternoon KFC night buffet which are all fried food ! LOL haha...

Weiting hurt her leg and she is like walking lame , i dont know whether should i wear slippers to school tomorrow a not cause of my toe , dammit ._. Haha weiting injured her leg and i have the priviledge to take the lift with her , yeah ! Had physics test today and i manage to do some , the rest blank , heehee confirm tio remedial one :D Anyways im going to drop ART , cause i dont think i can cope very well , and im not gonna include art into my L1R4 :D Dont know why this few days damn stress up ._. Anyways im trying my very best to forget and not to love him ANYMORE . Start over and we will be friends forever , no point me waiting and waiting ....

Shall go chiong my social studies essay and history essay now , tired siah ._. Haix , hope this misery will end soon~ ):